


Incorrect Losers Club Quotes

by JustAnother_TrashyChild



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Credit to the people who came up with it, F/M, Gay, M/M, Most of the stuff I wrote isn't even mine, hhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i don't know how to tag, i'll stop now., idk - Freeform, super gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-04-18 13:54:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 2,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14214570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustAnother_TrashyChild/pseuds/JustAnother_TrashyChild
Summary: Richie: Sorry, I just sneezed and liked your post.Eddie: And commented ‘Damn Daddy’ on all of my selfies?Richie: I have the flu.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oof, If I repeat some of them please tell me. I have a bad memory. :P

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Bill:** I-i-if I was a gardener, I’d put our t-t-tulips together

**Stan:** Awww.

**Richie:** If I was a gardener, you’d be my hoe.

**Eddie:** ...Thanks…

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Ben:** I spy with my little eye something that starts with ‘s’.

**Stan:** *Looking at Richie and Eddie* Is it sexual tension?

 

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**Bill at party:** *Sitting on Stan’s lap*

**Eddie:** …

**Eddie looking at Richie:** Why don’t we do stuff like that?

**Richie pulling Eddie onto his lap:** Happy?

*A few minutes later*

**Eddie:** Do you seriously have a boner right now?

**Richie:** You wanted this.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Richie:** Why don’t you have a boyfriend?

**Eddie:** I have strict parents. Why don’t you have a boyfriend?

**Richie:** You have strict parents.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Random Girl:** Oh you’re taken? What’s she like? I bet she’s perfect.

**Eddie:** Well about tha-

**Richie:** *Walks in* What’s up, fuckers

**Eddie:** He’s perfect in his own special way.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Richie:** Hey, do you guys dare me to kiss Eddie? 

**Losers’ Club:** No.

**Richie:** *Shaking his head and chuckling* I can’t believe you guys are making me do this.

**Losers’ Club:** We’re not.

**Richie:** *Grabbing Eddie’s hand* This is so wild you guys are so fucked up for making me do this.

**Losers’ Club:** -_-

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Beverly:** Why are your tongues purple?

**Richie:** I had a blue slushie.

**Eddie:** I had a red slushie.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Eddie:** Stan? What would you do if you were... In love?

**Stan:** *Looking at Bill and Bev* Try to get over it and forget about the stuttering idiot before he crushed whatever dreams I had left.

**Eddie:** Oh. Ok.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Richie:** You know...I’m a bit jealous of you…

**Eddie:** Why?

**Richie:** Because your boyfriend is way hotter than mine.

**Eddie:** But we’re dati-

**Eddie:** Wait a second… GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE-

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

**Richie:** Why won’t Eddie talk to me?

**Bill:** You texted him “KYS”.

**Richie:** Yea, it means “Kiss You Soon”.

**Bill:** Who told you that?

**Stan:** …

 

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	2. Chapter 2

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Richie: Making my way downtown, walking fast, Eddie passes and I slow down.  
Bill: DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN  
Richie, close to the hairbrush he’s using as a microphone: And I need you,   
Bill: DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN DUN  
Richie, on knees: And I miss you-  
Eddie: You can stop now.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: Well, I made a Friendship bracelet for you.  
Richie: You know, I’m not really a Jewelry person.  
Eddie: You don’t have to wear it.  
Richie: No I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: Richie and I are so close we finish each other’s-  
Richie: -Sentences!  
Eddie: Don’t fucking interrupt me.

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Richie: YOU ASSHOLE!  
Eddie: I’ve been called worse.  
Richie: Yeah, like what?  
Eddie: Your boyfriend.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: My mom always has a problem with what I’m doing.  
Richie: Probably because you’re always doing me.  
Eddie: *Chokes on water*  
Richie: *Smirks*

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: TOZIER!  
Eddie: KASPBRAK!  
Richie: TOZIER!  
Eddie: KASPBRAK!  
Richie: TOZIER!  
Stan: Why are they shouting their own last names?  
Ben without looking up from his book: They’re fighting over which one to use when they get married.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mike: I’m doing a crossword puzzle and I need a 5 letter word for beautiful.  
Richie: Eddie.  
Mike: ...  
Richie: ...  
Richie: It fits doesn’t it?  
Mike: Yea.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: *On the phone with his mom* She wants to know what we’re picking up.  
Richie: Drugs.  
Eddie: *To his mom:* Salad.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: I don’t like your last name, you should change it.  
Eddie: *Offended* Okay, like to what?  
Richie: Mine.  
Eddie: *Voice Crack* o...kay..

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bill: Do you want to tell me how you guys crashed the car?  
Eddie: Well, we were driving and there was this deer in the middle of the road that Richie couldn’t see, so I shouted “Richie, deer!”  
Richie: …  
Eddie: Do you want to tell Bill what your response was?  
Richie: …. “Yes, honey?”

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	3. Chapter 3

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Stan: So, what did we practice you would say to Eddie?  
Richie: “Will you go out with me tomorrow tonight?”  
Stan: And what did you say to Eddie?  
Richie: I accidently told him to suck my dick.  
Stan: HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY TELL SOMEONE TO SUCK YOUR DICK?!  
Richie: I PANICKED!

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: I’m the kind of guy that likes to think things through.  
Eddie: Since when? I once saw you eat a marshmallow while it was still on fire!

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: Yeah, we’re friends, but I would fuck you if you asked.  
Eddie: What?  
Richie: What?  
Stan: *Eating Chips in the background* You said you would fuck him if he asked.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bill and Richie: *Hiding from Pennywise*  
Bill: Don’t say a word.  
Richie: …  
Richie: Fergalicious.  
Bill: I said no words!  
Richie: Oh, I see. Two weeks ago, we were playing scrabble, it’s not a word, you said. Suddenly it is a word because it’s convenient for you.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: Nice hands, Eddie.  
Eddie: Uhh.. Thank you..?  
Richie: I bet they’d look even better wrapped around my-  
Stan: BIBLE! WRAPPED AROUND THE BIBLE, PRAISE THE LORD AMEN!!

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: *Walks in carrying a large box*  
Stan: What’s in the box? A robotic girlfriend?  
Richie: I don’t need a robotic girlfriend. I guarantee you, twenty years from now I’ll be Eddie’s second husband.  
Eddie: What happened to my first husband?  
Richie: Nothing you can prove.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie, from the dining room: Dinner’s on the table!  
Eddie: *Rushes into the room*  
Richie: *Lying seductively on the table*  
Eddie: But it’s lagana night….

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: *Giggles* i’M sO dRuNk lol  
Richie: *grabs Eddie’s drink*  
Richie: *Sips drink*  
Richie: Wtf.  
Richie: Eddie, this is apple juice.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: Richie, you’re dehydrated, I’m taking you to the doctor.  
Richie: If I was sick, could I do this?  
Eddie: …  
Richie: …  
Eddie: What are you doing?  
Richie: Cartwheels. Am I not doing them?  
Eddie: No.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: This date is boring.  
Eddie: This isn’t a date. I said I was going to the store.  
Richie: Then why did you invite me?  
Eddie: I didn’t. I specifically said “Don’t come with me.” then you said “Fuck you, Eddie, I’ll do whatever I want!”.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	4. Chapter 4

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Eddie: Bros before Hoes.  
Richie: But what if your bro if your hoe?  
Eddie: RICHIE-

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: I like your pants.  
Eddie: Thanks, they were 50% off.  
Richie: Well, I’d like them 100% off.  
Eddie: What kind of store just gives things away?  
Richie: No, that not what I-  
Eddie: That no way to run a business.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stan: Hey, send me a dick pic. ;)  
Bill: Ok ;)  
Bill: *Sends a picture of Richie*  
Stan: Ok, touche.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bill: *Standing out of Eddie’s bedroom* EDDIE, WE HAVE TO GO! COME OUT!  
Eddie: I’M GAY.  
Bill: Not what I meant but I support you.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: *Kisses Richie*  
Richie: What is this?  
Eddie: Affection.  
Richie: Disgusting.  
Richie: ...  
Richie: Do it again.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: Hi, I’m Eddie. And you are?  
Richie: Not as straight as I thought I was, apparently…

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Losers’ Club: *looses Richie in a crowd*  
The Losers’ Club: THIS CALLS FOR DRASTIC MEASURES-  
Stan: Shut the FUCK up and keep walking!

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: Let’s watch ‘Sharkboy and Lavagirl’-  
Eddie: Ok.  
Richie: And makeout during the scary parts!  
Eddie: The scary parts of ‘Sharkboy and Lavagirl’?.....................

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie, trying on Richie’s glasses: How do I look?  
Richie: Probably cute as always but you know.. I can’t fucking see.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: I can’t believe we’re stuck in this room together.  
Richie, throwing the keys out of the window: Yeah, truly unfortunate.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	5. Chapter 5

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie, talking about Bev: Now that’s what I call a MILF.  
Richie: Don’t tell us you think it stands for-  
Eddie: My Interesting Lady Friend  
Richie: -WE ALREADY IT’S WRONG!

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: Hey Eddie, wanna bang?  
Richie: Hang* stupid autocorrect  
Eddie: Richie, we’re having a verbal conversation…

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: Babe, it’s dark out here…  
Richie: Don’t worry, I got this.  
Richie: *Stomps heelies*  
Richie: *Slips n’ falls*  
Richie: Shit, I brought the wrong shoes.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bill, greeting Eddie and Richie: Sup, gays.  
Richie: Don’t you mean ‘guys’-  
Bill: Did I fucking stutter?

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: ‘Sleepy’ is so much cuter than ‘tired’. Everybody needs to stop saying ‘tired’ and start using ‘sleepy’.   
Stan: I’m so sleepy of your shit.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: Sorry, I just sneezed and liked your post.  
Eddie: And commented ‘Damn Daddy’ on all of my selfies?  
Richie: I have the flu.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie, looking at Richie: Ugh, I can’t believe I’m gonna sleep with him.  
Ben: ..You don’t have to..  
Eddie: No, I’m gonna.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: How’s the most handsome man in the world doing?   
Eddie, without even looking up from the table: I don’t know, how are you?  
Richie, voice cracking: I’m fine. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: What you’re doing is illegal.  
Richie: I’m not taking advice from you. You fucking pronounce the ‘g’ in lasagna!

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie, mumbling: You look pretty.  
Richie: What?  
Eddie: I SAID YOU LOOK SHITTY, GOOD NIGHT RICHIE.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	6. Chapter 6

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pennywise: *Growling*  
Richie: DON’T FUCK WITH ME, I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH-

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: You’re annoying.  
Richie: But you love me.  
Eddie: That doesn’t make you less annoying.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Judge: How do you plead?  
Richie: *Looks at Eddie*  
Eddie: *Mouthing ‘Not Guilty’*  
Richie: Hot Milky  
Eddie: Jesus Christ, just lock him up.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bill: All the words that end with ‘ie’ are cute, like ‘cookie’, ‘cutie’, ‘brownie’-  
Stan: ‘Die’.  
Bill: No.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: *Just texting on phone*  
Eddie, kicking the door down: yOu BlOcKeD mE oN fAcEbOoK, aNd NoW yOu’Re GoInG tO dIe!  
Richie, not even alarmed: Wtf, Eds.  
Eddie: *Attacks him but fails miserably*  
Richie: …

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: *Goes to get milk from the fridge*  
Richie: It’s not in there.  
Eddie: rICHIE, you promised to stOp drinking milk in the shOWer!  
Richie: sTOP TRYING TO CHANGE ME

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie, hiding from Pennywise: They’re never gonna find me , this is such a great hiding spot.  
Pennywise: Some-  
Richie: -BODY ONCE TOLD ME  
Pennywise: …  
Richie: Shit!

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: Well I’m Richie, short for Richard. How about we call you ‘Eds’, short for Eddie?  
Eddie: Eddie is already short for Edward, dumbass.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Teacher: If you had 5 apples, and gave 3 to your brother. What would you have?  
Bill: *Tears up*  
Bill: A brother.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: One time in elementary school, I had a crush on this boy and I didn’t know how to deal with it, So I wrote him a note that just said, “Get out of my school.”  
Eddie: I still have that note.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	7. Chapter 7

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Mike: So what’s it like dating Richie?  
Eddie: He once woke me up with a blow horn to the face.  
Mike: Oh god…  
Eddie: Then said, “I just wanted to blow you.”  
Mike: Damn it, Richie.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stan: The dead sea is the saltiest thing on Earth.  
Richie: Yeah, next to your bitch ass.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stan: I just want somebody to take me out.  
Bill: Do you mean on a date or with a sniper?  
Stan: Surprise me.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stan; Valentine’s Day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than to make people spend money on heart shaped chocolates and act like they love their significant others in the most superficial and fake way pos-  
Bill: I wrote you a song.  
Stan: *Already sobbing*

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bill, doing homework: L-last question: how long can h-human survive without a brain?  
Stan: Depends. How old are you, Richie?

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sonia Kaspbrak, doing laundry: Honey, I don’t want you hanging around Richie anymore.  
Eddie: Well, why not?  
Sonia Kaspbrak: I just get weird-  
Richie, from inside the washing machine: Yeah, why not?  
Sonia Kaspbrak: AHh GoD nO!

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: Man, I really like Eddie.  
Richie: I better show him how much he means to me.  
Richie: *Sends him a meme at 3 am*

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: I think I pulled a muscle.  
Richie: Eds, you can’t pull what you don’t have.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: Heavy breathing turns me on.. Alot..  
Eddie: I have asthma..

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: Tell him about the birds and the bees.  
Stan, to Eddie: They are disappearing at an alarming rate.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait, you guys! :c I've been very busy lately...

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Eddie: My boyfriend must be top of the line, organized, graceful-  
Richie: Hi, I’m Rich- *Trips over air, falls on his face, spills water all over Stan, potted plant falls, spills dirt all over Bill’s head*  
Eddie: I want this one.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sonia Kaspbrak: Wait, so are you gay or is Richie just a bad influence?  
Eddie: Yes.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beverly: I joined the losers club for the same reason people go to the zoo.  
Beverly: Shh… Look at that.  
Beverly: *Looks at Richie chasing after a screaming Eddie*  
Beverly: Nature is amazing.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie, outside of Eddie’s window: O Homeo, Homeo! Wherefore art thou gay?  
Eddie: Oh my god, Richie, go home.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: What should I be this year?  
Richie: My boyfriend.  
Eddie: Yeah, that’s pretty scary.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beverly, making coffee: Hey Mike, can you pass the sugar?  
Mike: Sure *Pushes Ben towards her*  
-Later at dinner-  
Bill: Hey Mike, pass the s-salt.  
Mike: *Picks up Eddie*  
Bill: *Sighs* n-nevermind, just pass the pepper.  
Mike: *Picks up Stan*  
Bill: DA-DAMMINT MIKE!  
-Later, while watching a movie-  
Eddie, holding popcorn out to Mike: Hey Mike, can you put some of the cheesy stuff on this.  
Mike: I don’t think Richie can fit in there.  
Bill: Mike, you have a problem.  
*At the same time*  
Richie: I think I’ve been issued a challenge. *Proceeds to climb all over Eddie*

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: *Says a pun*  
Eddie: Shut up.  
Random Kid: Yeah, Tozier, shut up.  
Eddie, turning around in his seat: I will fucking kill you.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Richie: You look nice, I want to kiss you.  
Eddie: What?  
Richie: I SAID IF YOU DIE I WOULDN’T MISS YOU

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: *Phone Rings* HEY EVERYBODY, SHUT UP!  
Eddie: Hey, mom.  
Stan: *sings loudly into phone*   
Ben: Pass the weed!  
Bill: EDDIE PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON.  
Mike: Who brought the vodka?  
Bev: Come back to bed, Eddie...  
Richie: *Makes various sex noises*  
Eddie: *Hangs up* I fucking hate all of you.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eddie: Don’t fucking do the thing!  
Richie: I’M GONNA GOOD AND GODDAMN WELL DO THE THING!  
Stan: Bitch did the thing, didn’t he?

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


	9. Author's Note

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title is self explanatory.

I am not continuing this work, I have no ideas for it and I may have lost my interest in 'It'. So, I'm sorry if you really liked this work but I just lost my creativity for it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this. :D


End file.
